A few weeks ago, in the midst of total physical and emotional exhaustion, I found myself binging on Netflix. I have no idea how I managed to live life before Netflix? What did I do with my free time?
I got through the most recent season of Pretty Little Liars and was really struggling to find something else to watch. I stumbled across Chasing Life, an American show about a 24 year old with cancer. I normally avoid shows and movies about cancer, but I was desperate and thought I could justify it as research for the blog. I was expecting to pull it apart and criticise how ridiculous it was or I was setting myself up for lots of crying. I was so wrong on both accounts.
Read MoreThis afternoon my husband and I had a good old fashioned cry – I was more a blubbering mess and Serge was more controlled with the number of tears let loose.
This afternoon we went to see 'Me Before You' at the cinema. Serge had no idea what he was in for, he simply heard the word ‘movies’ and decided that he must accompany me. However, I had planned to see 'Me Before You' since I heard that it was being made into a movie.
I had read the book by Jojo Moyes twice – before my cancer diagnosis and after. It is a bit of an epiphany writing that because it is quite right, my life is now defined by life before my terminal diagnosis and life since – life since living knowing that I am dying.
Read MoreMy birthday is less than a month away and I am already feeling the stress and emotions that have become as much part of my birthday as a delicious pavlova!
I have always loved birthdays and I have never been one to not celebrate, but the last few years, since being sick, birthdays have become increasingly difficult.
My 23rd birthday in 2014 we went big because it was my first birthday since my prognosis and the importance of celebrations, due to not knowing if it would be my last, was at the forefront of my mind as well as friends and family. I remember struggling on the day, but not as much as I did last year.
Read MoreI wrote this a few days ago mid meltdown (see my post over on facebook to hear all about it!)
In December 2014, 12 months after being diagnosed with Stage 4 Melanoma, a terminal prognosis, I wrote about my struggle with living life in limbo. I had gone from meeting with palliative care in January 2014 and planning my death, to December when I was responding to treatment and feeling well. Yes, I still had terminal cancer, but I was faced with the potential of this new immunotherapy treatment extending my life by years.
My husband and I had spent months ‘living in the moment’. Serge stopped working to spend as much time as possible with me. We got married. We went on holidays together. We just enjoyed our time together as much as we possibly could.
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